MY HEALING JOURNEY

In the Beginning

At around the mid-point of a pretty conventional life, I was happily married with two beautiful children and had worked in the Healthcare industry for almost 20 years. I had a pretty clean diet, exercised regularly, and was pretty optimistic and easy going if you asked around. Yet, despite all the effort I was putting toward the prescribed method of building a happy and healthy life, I was feeling unhealthy in body, mind, and spirit. For a long time, I didn't even realize that I was void of any joy and living in lower states of energy because it had become my "normal". I finally realized that my "normal" state of happiness was no more than a minimization of pain and suffering. In fact, my energy was continuously being drained by the subtle and cumulative toll of living out of alignment with who I really was and what I truly valued. On the outside, everything appeared to be going quite well and I had created a successful life situation. However, on the inside, I carried a great deal of stress, anxiety, and a feeling of being overwhelmed with responsibility. I was exhausted from trying to maintain some degree of control over everything that was happening in my life. I had chronic pain, chronic fatigue, and was chronically thinking through all the problems and obstacles that appeared in my life and disrupted a state of peace and contentment. I was progressing through life without a real sense of purpose or connection to myself and it did not feel right. My organs and systems were suffering and my immune system had a difficult time keeping up with the bombardment of energetic pollution swirling though the Modern World. As everything failed I had nothing but questions and no idea how to reorganize myself and my life in my own best interest. I just knew I needed to stop walking blindly down the path I was on and create some drastic change.

My "Tower" Moment

The job and career that I had been building for the last 20 years came to an abrupt end in 2021 and everything else seemed to come crashing down with it. My finances and sense of safety & security were suddenly gone, my beliefs about life and how we're living were crumbling, and even the ideas about myself and who I was were vanishing before my eyes. Everything, including my identity and personality, was no longer serving me and I was questioning it all. The only thing that remained was a feeling of confusion about who I was and what I was doing here on Earth and a small hope that I could find truth, health, and happiness if I started to search. It felt as though I had hit ground zero and was starting all over again. I believe, that in Tarot, this situation is depicted by the Tower Card. Something was being torn down so that something new could be built. But what? I didn't know how to rebuild myself, my life, or how to recover my health. I just knew there was no going back to the old ways of doing and being. It was time for me to figure out who I was, how to heal, and how to live again in a manner that allowed me to feel happy and free inside. I didn't know what was happening to me at this time, but I was awakening inside and the World was crumbling around me. I can only now see, looking back, that although this moment took so much away, it was a blessing in disguise and I was about to receive everything I had been asking my whole life for.

Starting Over

I took a spiritual approach to rebuilding myself and my life. Spirituality had once been something I connected with and I was noticing that spiritual people seemed to be the most at peace with themselves and life. I trusted that my health, body, mind, and spirit, would be renewed along this path and that the shape of my life would resemble the improvements I was making to myself. I already took to the idea that everything is made up of energy, so learning about my aura, light body, chakras, and the energetic template that supports our life, felt right to me. I started to take herbs to bring in frequencies that helped to balance my physical organs and systems. I slowed down a great deal and started to monitor my mental body and the energy of the thoughts that were running through my head. Finally, I started to monitor my emotional body and began sitting with the feelings I had instead of shoving them down and moving on. Meditation was crucial, albeit challenging at first, so I included movement in my practice and started with Yoga and Qigong. I learned how to breathe again. I didn't even realize that I wasn't breathing correctly and how important the breath is for healing. I eventually began a morning routine of breathing, meditation, and gratitude to support my mental and emotional states along with the physical. These activities began to clear away some of the lower frequency energies within my field and make way for more light to come in. As this happened over time, the shadows of trapped and forgotten memories and feelings began to surface and brought about some very uncomfortable feelings and challenging days. The healing was not always pleasant and I am grateful for the wonderful people around me and their patience. I was doing many new things for myself and letting go of many old parts of myself. There were moments of inspiration to help me through the challenging times as I continued to let go of everything that had been a burden to my consciousness and my bodies. I wondered... would there be anything of me left?

A Death & Rebirth

One of the most important things I learned along the my healing journey is how to restore and manage my own energy. I had been in the (unconscious) practice of giving my energy away freely and opening up to everything and everyone. I needed to call this energy back now and being to purify and protect it. My morning routine started to include energetic cord-cutting and soul retrieval exercises, energy clearing and purification exercises, and energy shielding and protection exercises. The knowledge that I needed to take the next steps forward would "show up" in a variety of ways at the right time and I was starting to pick up on subtle synchronicities and clues that life would leave. I found myself doing many things that my mind did not understand until later, and as I continued to let go of the ego-self and all of its "thinking", my intuition became my compass and I started surrendering to life. I let go of the reins and the need to control my life and started to accept what was showing up without judgment or bias. This felt like putting down a large weight that I had been carrying for so long. Finally, I started to feel as though the parts of myself that were causing me so much pain were being replaced with a "new me" that I was uncovering by letting everything go. A lot of the darker energy seemed to be clearing away and it became less painful to clear these energies each time. There was a Death and Rebirth occurring inside of me and I was feeling more and more like "myself", as my energy returned. Finally, I felt ready for something new in my life, and this time, it would be aligned with who I really was. It was no surprise to me that Reiki landed on my doorstep.

Mikao Usui Reiki

I found a wonderful Reiki teacher in Old South, London and went for my first session. She taught according to the teachings of Dr. Mikao Usui and I loved the spiritual origin of the traditional teachings, in addition to the idea of using it as a healing modality. After a few more sessions and acquiring some familiarity with the Reiki practice, I was convinced I needed to become an active practitioner. A year later I had completed my Master Practitioner course and was performing Reiki sessions for others. I love being able to offer this energy to others and to have the chance to connect with anyone who is working on themselves in any capacity.

My healing journey continues and I continue my daily practices to this day. As I see and feel the impact of these practices I am called to assist others in any way I can. A Reiki session is a nice way for me to do that, while offering some energetic support in the process. I believe in Reiki and the spiritual practices that we have forgotten and yet are so vital in maintaining a healthy body, mind, and spirit. I'm happy to do what I can to help bring us all back to a state of health and peace.